Love is...

Filling your cup of happiness first so you can give the overflow to others

Loving yourself so much first, you then have so much more to give someone else

Putting your values at the top of your list so you can enhance the lives of those around you

Standing up for yourself and being honest when things aren't right for you

Being vulnerable with your partner, friends or family and sharing who you really are and who you want to be

Supporting your partner or friend in their passions and dreams even it might not fit in with your future together

Free of judgement and doesn't control

The freedom to be who you are and do what makes you happy

Everything you want it to be. Whether you're single or in a relationship. Love feels good, right and isn't a constant struggle.

Love comes from within yourself.

For years, I looked for love outside of myself. I went from relationship to relationship hoping it would solve my problems. Hoping it would fill my emptiness. However, in every relationship the "love" wasn't what I feel now. It was constant arguments, constant fighting, there was no trust and there was no freedom. It always felt like I was giving up something that made me happy so that we would be "fine". Or he wouldn't do what he wanted to do to avoid causing a fight.

I never knew (or maybe I didn't want to admit) that it was mostly because of me. It was my lack of love and understanding for myself and lack of commitment to what was important to me that each relationship never worked out.

I didn't have difficult conversations because I didn't want to sit through the discomfort of telling someone how I actually felt; I just stayed in the relationship because it was so much better than being alone and actually dealing with my own thoughts.

But you know what, life and love shouldn't be mediocre and hard all of the time. It should be beautiful, fun, equal and honest.

It shouldn't always be a struggle or a fight for things to be good. Yes, arguments are healthy and need to happen, however, they shouldn't be arguments that hurt and belittle the other person. If they are arguments that question the fundamental pieces of who you are and what you need as an individual, that is a red flag that there is something out of alignment for the two of you.

For the first time in my life I came together with someone else when I was whole. I wasn't looking for love and I wasn't looking for someone, I was so happy with what I was doing. He was so complete in who he was that neither of us gave up anything within ourselves to be together. We added so much more to each other and took nothing away from the other.

Love is powerful and we should use its power to enhance our happiness, not as a means to settle for what we don't want.

img_9797 (1).jpg